Are you stuck in the friend zone?
Or worse, are you stuck in a position where the person you are in love with doesn’t even know who you are?
Transitioning from one type of relationship to another – or from no type of relationship – can often be a very daunting prospect and also very difficult. How do you make yourself known to someone who doesn’t know you? And how do you get them to think of you romantically when they haven’t before?
Can you just walk up to a stranger and ask them out? Sure you can, but it’s not necessarily the best way to set the odds up in your favour and it could potentially be very awkward if that person is someone that you work with or that you otherwise see regularly.
One better strategy is to use something called ‘kaizen‘. This basically means continually improving your situation gradually rather than trying to suddenly make one large change. In the case of building a relationship, this might mean that you slowly increase the amount of time you spend with someone, slowly increase your closeness and then eventually get that point where you ‘cross that line into a full-blown relationship.
This is a great way to avoid an out and out rejection right at the start, it’s very romantic and sexy when done correctly and it can also help you to avoid and overcome nerves. So how does it work?
How to Use Kaizen to Build a Romantic Relationship
If you don’t know someone at all, then the first ‘small step’ you can take to building a relationship is to get to know them. This might mean that you simply ask for an introduction, so if there is someone that you both know then you should ask for them to give you an introduction.
Alternatively, it might just mean that you try to work with them or that you otherwise orchestrate an opportunity to speak to them on a regular basis.
From there you can try seeing them in a social setting – maybe with a group of friends. Once you’ve done this enough times it’s then socially acceptable to ask for a number and you can open a one to one communication.
Meet up with them on their own a few times and then get them to come around to watch a film. If you do this regularly and you end up staying around, it’s only a matter of time until you can cross the line into romance.
At any point, if they’re not interested they can say no and the situation will be avoided with no awkwardness. But at the same time, it’s a great way to get them to know you and to build a relationship that will organically develop into something more than friends.